By Sarah Curless
There are some places you visit that are simply a fleeting moment; one that you’ll look back on fondly before returning to your regular life.
And then there are the places that stick with you. For me, that was Japan. Yes, I may have physically returned home, but I knew boarding that plane that a piece of me would always remain there.
Whilst I don’t have the means (or the budget) to make a 15-hour journey again anytime soon, there are ways that I’m trying to bring pieces of Japan into my own life. Here are the six life altering lessons that this magnificent country taught me.
The importance of community
When asked to think of community, our minds often go to family, friends, or even neighbours. But how often do we consider the strangers in our area?
In the Western world, our hyper-individualism can often leave us feeling disconnected.
Ask yourself; when was the last time you had a conversation with your cashier? Most of the time, we grab our groceries and rush to the next big task, barely making eye-contact. The most you’ll interact with strangers is maybe a fleeting smile in the street, but even that has become a rarity.
What shocked me most about Japan, however, was just how friendly everyone was. I know, shocking in this day and age, isn’t it? Travelling to another country, I undoubtedly expected to feel a little out of place or perhaps even uncomfortable. But to my surprise, all I felt was a great wave of belonging wash over me.
How can this be the case? Well, it starts with the service.
In Japan, they really take ‘service with a smile’ to the next level. Every cashier was not only radiant with positivity, but also went above and beyond to help me. Despite the language barrier, when I mentioned that I was vegetarian, one cashier went through all the food in the fridge to tell me which was suitable.
Where I noticed this the most, however, was in restaurants. Don’t get me wrong, back in the UK you can certainly find good service. I’ve had numerous waitresses that have brightened my day and served me with enthusiasm. But with the expectation of tips looming in the air, you sometimes question the motives behind the smile.
In Japan, however, it is considered rude to tip. Despite this, the workers seemed to take genuine interest in my life.
In one Kyoto restaurant, I spent my entire meal having a conversation with the server and learning about her story. She also took the time to explain everything on my plate to me, where it was sourced from and the history behind it.
Passion oozed from her, and you could tell that so much love and care was put into the dish. It may not have been the fanciest restaurant I’ve been to, and yet this is by far my favourite dining experience.
This friendliness extends to the strangers you meet in passing.
I was wandering through Kyoto with my camera, when a man posed for my photo. What I thought may be a fleeting funny moment turned into a twenty-minute conversation all about photography and life. I even learned that he studied at the same university as my sister, Small World!
These may seem like tiny, insignificant moments, but for someone who often feels so isolated, they left me feeling warm and hopeful.
From bowing at strangers to having smaller sharing plates rather than individual portions; everything in Japan seems to centre around this culture of community.
I realised that this is what I’m missing in my life, a strong sense of community and connection with those around me. Growing up being lectured about ‘stranger danger’ conditioned me to shut myself off from people and constantly have my guard up. But really, strangers are just friends you haven’t met, and you never know what interesting stories they may have.
Moving forward, I want to cultivate this sense of connection in my life. Whether that’s simply smiling at people that pass by or telling the waitress to have a nice day, the small actions can make a world of difference.
Embracing the unexpected
If you know me, you know I’m a sucker for a plan. My brain thrives on to-do-lists, spreadsheets and carefully curated itineraries.
When it came to Japan, this was no exception. Me and my sister spent months curating the perfect plan. We went through it with a fine-tooth comb, ensuring that we squeezed every drop of the day. By the time we finished with it, we had a polished itinerary packed to the brim with activities.
As you can imagine, life tends to have other plans. Let’s just say, it was determined to ensue chaos and throw our plan out the window.
For two organised maniacs, you can imagine the horror and chaos that must have ensued. Yes, for a brief moment, it felt like the world was falling apart. But when we managed to (eventually) calm down, we found ways to fix the mess. The unexpected moments that arose from this ended up being some of my favourites of the trip.
If our plans hadn’t been destroyed, I wouldn’t have ended up in a traditional Japanese tea house overlooking the most tranquil garden I have seen in my entire life. That is a moment that is forever imprinted into my brain, as it is the most at peace I have ever felt.
Not only this, but I also experienced singing my lungs out to my favourite song in a karaoke booth, bathing in a rooftop pool overlooking Mount Fuji, and frolicking on hidden steppingstones along a stream. I place some of these moments above the touristy spots that I was initially more excited about.
I learned a crucial lesson; the beauty of spontaneity. Not every moment has to be planned. In fact, the moments that come naturally often end up being the most special, as you don’t have high expectations.
You may be wondering: why did it take travelling to Japan to learn this? That is because it is so easy to get lost in Japan. One turn, and you can stumble across the most serene garden, temple, or forest.
These kinds of places won’t appear in the ‘Top 10 places to visit in Japan’ videos, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth your time. They’re the kind of spots you can’t plan for yet seeing them with your own eyes is magical.
There may not be beautiful Zen gardens to stumble across near me, but nevertheless, this inspired me to get a little lost more in my own life and go with the flow. When you let go of the constant need to plan and control everything in life, that’s when you leave room for magic.
Throw yourself out your comfort zone
This lesson may seem a bit out of place, I mean, haven’t I just been talking about how comforting and peaceful Japan was?
Well, as a result of my newfound spontaneity and free spirit, I left the trip doing some things I never imagined I’d do. In contrast to how relaxing Japan was, these activities turned out to be the most out of my comfort zone.
Although some may have been uncomfortable at that moment, I came out of these experiences realizing that immersing yourself in culture and trying absolutely everything is the best way to travel.
At first, this happened in small ways. For example, traditional Japanese breakfast food often consists of rice dishes. Being used to the English cuisine, this was certainly a culture shock. For the majority of the trip, I was sure I wouldn’t branch out and decided to stick to my trusty yoghurt bowl. Until one morning, when something inside me decided to reach for a warm bowl of miso soup. Despite being so different to my usual routine that I treasure, it turned out to be delicious.
Although it’s a small act, I learned that when travelling it’s so important to keep an open mind and just completely throw yourself in. From new foods that may seem unappealing to you, to learning the art of samurai and embracing the traditions. Even if things feel different, this is how you experience the world.
You may be thinking that all of these are small acts and hardly stepping out of your comfort zone. But on this trip, I ended up facing one of my biggest fears.
When arriving at my hotel in Mishima, we discovered that the top floor had a traditional Japanese onsen. I was already hesitant to go in, so you can only imagine my horror when I discovered that you have to go in completely naked.
After learning this fact, there was not a single chance in the world that I would so much as step in that direction. Letting people see me in such a vulnerable state felt like stepping on the edge of a cliff.
I headed to bed that night, ready to finally wind down and sure of my decision. On the way to my hotel room, I bumped into my tour guide, who ended up imparting some words of wisdom to me. “You always regret the things you don’t do,” she explained, “You’re only in Japan once.” After a long, inspirational chat, a seed had been planted in my mind.
Despite feeling completely terrified to my core, low and behold, I decided to take the plunge and just do it. It was one of those moments where I thought to myself, “what am I doing?” My brain couldn’t quite seem to comprehend what my body was doing. But the more time I spent there, the more I realised, nobody cared! One by one, my insecurities and worries began to melt away into the water.
Admittedly, it probably wasn’t an experience I’d repeat anytime soon. But does that mean that I regret it? Absolutely not! Going forward in my life, this experience has inspired me to just try everything. Even if you don’t like something; what’s the worst that can happen? At least you leave with an experience and story to tell.
Soaking in a moment
If you’ve ever travelled, you are probably aware of the tourist drill. It goes something like this; make a list of places to see, visit them, snap some photos, and swiftly hurry on to the next on your list.
I am guilty of falling into this trap, and this was very much the custom at the start of my trip. But when my plans got flipped upside down, this forced me to have more time in certain locations. I ended up spending hours in places that I would have normally given five minutes.
A year ago, this would have sent me into a spiral of boredom and insanity. But instead of complaining or checking the clock, I did something unheard of. I sat down, took a breath, and just soaked in the sights around me. Instead of just snapping a photo, I used grounding techniques and engrained the picture around me into my brain.
In that moment, it was as though something clicked in my brain, and this was my new method. At every location I visited, I made sure that I took the time to fully soak in the moment, whether that was walking barefoot and feeling the sensations or just putting my camera away for a bit. After all, these are often the times that we miss, but how often do we fully appreciate them in the moment?
This was easier to do in Japan compared to any other place I’ve visited, because being present is so encouraged there. Many temples, and even some streets, have a strict ‘no photography’ policy, forcing you to simply be in the moment. You’ll also notice that temples often require you to take your shoes off. Whilst some people saw this as an inconvenience, it helped me feel so much more grounded and connected to the Earth.
It’s no surprise that this culture is heavily influenced by Buddhism, the second biggest religion in Japan. Buddhism is all about the importance of simply being and teaches that you can find the end of suffering by letting go of external desire and turning inwards.
Whilst I wouldn’t call myself a Buddhist by any means, this is a religion I find truly beautiful and want to bring these practices into my own life. Like most people, I often find myself eager for what’s next or ruminating on the past. But all we have is right now, and moments like these have taught me that focusing on what you have right now is what ultimately brings you peace.
This is even important in the parts of your day that may feel ‘mundane.’ One of my top favorite experiences was attending a Japanese tea ceremony. Traditional ceremonies can last up to four hours, and they are completely dedicated to the simple act of making tea. In this practice, you are encouraged to be present in every part of the process; feeling the textures, listening to the sounds and savouring every sip.
All this peace and appreciation is found in the simple act of making tea, something many of us do every day. But how often do we fully appreciate it? You may find yourself rushing, frantically boiling the kettle as you think about your growing to-do list.
Going forward, I want to try and bring this level of presence into my life. Not just for the big moments, but for the little rituals like making my morning coffee or walking to campus. Whether that is feeling the rain against my skin, listening to the sounds of birds or smelling the scent of fresh flowers, I want to sink into every moment. Japan has taught me that these simple moments are what life is all about.
Appreciating food more
Throughout this article, I’ve mentioned food and drink quite heavily, as they tie in a lot to the whole culture of slowing down. But Japan’s attitude towards food is one that has really made me view it in a new lens.
If you ever visit Japan, you’ll notice that it is considered rude to eat on the go. For many tourists, this may be a shock, or even an ‘inconvenience’. But I think this is a small custom that reflects their entire attitude towards food.
Food isn’t just sustenance, it’s much more than that. Before every meal, Japanese people will say Itadakimasu. This means, ‘I humbly receive’ and is a way of expressing gratitude for not only the food but the natural world, the people who grew the ingredients and the effort that went into making it.
This little habit is one that I find so beautiful. In our lives, we take so much for granted, and food is no exception. Taking one minute from your day to just express gratitude for the plate in front of you is an easy way to feel more grateful.
Another thing I noticed was how much care Japanese people put into the food. Like I previously mentioned, a restaurant owner took the time to explain all the food on my plate to me and where it came from. She didn’t just make the food for the money, but because it was a family business that began with a boy making it out of love for his partner.
When I went to a traditional sake tasting, I learned all about the process of it. This is a long, rigorous process that takes months, if not years, of trial and error. Each step is thoughtfully considered to make the most delicious tasting sake.
These are just a few prime examples of all the care, love and dedication that goes into food and drink. It isn’t just sustenance, but a form of love.
In everyday life, food can often just be a means of convenience. How often do we just throw something in the microwave and gobble it down? Japan, however, has taught me to savor and appreciate the food I eat. After all, we truly are blessed to receive it.
The beauty of slowness
Here in the UK, especially in big cities like London, everything is so fast paced. It’s easy to get caught in the whirlwind, gulping down your morning coffee, rushing to work, or bustling through the crowds.
What immediately struck me about Japan was just how slow the pace was. When you step out in a morning, rather than stepping into a vortex of rush and panic, everything just seems slow and relaxed. Whether that’s people taking a leisurely morning bike ride or just smiling at passersby.
I noticed this in the small things you wouldn’t usually expect. Take, for example, crossings. In the UK, the second the light flashes green, a harsh beeping sound blares out and crowds pile across the road. In Japan, however, the sounds feel less harsh. As the lights turn green, a gentle, ‘pew’ sound rings out and people orderly cross. This is something I noticed across the country, the sounds are less grinding and hectic. For example, the train lines all have their own distinct tune, and a little melody plays as you step into convenience stores.
You don’t notice how much of a difference these small changes make, until you step back to London and nearly have a panic attack because you are so overwhelmed by all the sounds. Japan felt much softer and gentler, which felt like a breath of fresh air.
This led me to the question: why do we rush so much? Why does everything feel so urgent and immediate, what is it we are rushing towards? We’re always so focused on the next big thing that we lose the beauty of the now.
A habit I want to adopt is simply taking my time. Life is not a race, and all the energy we put into rushing ultimately takes time away from us in the long run.
Experiencing Japan first-hand is something that I recommend for everyone at least once in their life. However, if this isn’t accessible to you at the moment, hopefully this article has brought a piece of Japan home to you. Whilst I doubt anything will ever replicate the feeling of being in that special place, I am sure that these mindset shifts will make a world of difference to my life, and I hope that they have inspired you to see life through a new lens.
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